You Say: "Mitt!" I Say: "Benjamins!"

If I was a presidential candidate getting hammered for my wealth, for predatory capitalism, for offering my primary opponents exorbitant wagers, for having posed with my business posse stuffing cash into our pockets for the buckets of money we were making in the corporate repo trade — all that after suffered a FAIL when, only having large bills on me, I offered a kid a $5 in return for a $1 he gave me as an origami present, you know what I’d do?

I’d make sure my wallet was securely stashed on the campaign bus or in an aide’s pocket so I was never, ever shown with a greenback in my hand again.

And not only that, but I’d make for damn sure that, if the Lord himself told a South Carolina woman to follow my bus because she was broke, and the campaign gave her some cash to pay her lighting bill and gave her some odd jobs to do, I wouldn’t ever, ever, ever whip out my own wallet and start doling out more cash to her in front of wire photographers for all the world to see.

And then, I guess it didn’t occur to the campaign, since the woman is poor and African-American, that the gesture (lucky for Mitt the woman isn’t visible in the picture) looks patronizing at best.

(photo: Joe Raedle/Getty Images caption: Republican presidential candidate, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney counts money to give to a person in the crowd during a campaign rally at the American Legion post 15 on January 14,2012 in Sumter, South Carolina. Romney continues to campaign for votes in South Carolina ahead of their primary on January 21st.)